Uma vez eu tive uma ilusão

Today is one of those days when you wake up thinking about the past while you're listening to Adele and at least you realise that you're not the only who cannot get over someone and even less break through this whole thing. Do you know why I like Adele? Beside she's got the greatest voice, she has got also the greatest lyrics, "the scars of your love remind me of us, the keep me thinking that we almost had it all" Yeah, maybe I'm a masochist but baby I cannot get over you, everything makes me remember you even this cutting pain,the rush flavor that you left in my lips, your fucking childish behaviour wich makes me laugh a lot. "God only knows why is taking me so long to let my doubts go" Not only my doubts, Letting you go is taking me so long, it's unbelievable but despite everything, despite you cheated on me I'm still stuck on you and that's killing me man, that's driving me crazy and I cannot handle it, I have done everything, I have kissed a lot of people that I cannot even remember their names, I have slept with one hundred people just to try to leave you, I have said a lot of "I love you" to people just pretending I'm saying it to you, I have tried not to remember you but I've done it so much that I can  even write a entire novel, I have been hoping the best for you even when you do not deserve it, I have broken all my values doing things that I would never do, I have written you letters that I know that you will never read, I have kissed my pillow pretending  it's you, I have kept my distance, I have given you  space to be free but my heart doesn't want it  that way and it's rejecting to pump  blood to my brain unless you're with me just to make me lose my reason. "Should I give up or should I keep chasing pavements?" Sometimes I wonder if I should fight for you or if I just have to let you go, neither of them convince me completely, either of them will hurt, I have already lost a lot of opportunities that I know I would never have again. Turning tables is a song that makes me think a little bit of us, In the state we are, often I think it's you who doesn't want to let me go but you're such a coward that you won't ever say "I love you, please don't go and stand by me" Maybe you're turning the table to make me feel that I'm the one who did you wrong spite of that I'm pretty sure that you were who betrayed me. "One and Only" is a song, better said is the song that I like the most, it  makes me remember great things of us, makes me remember that illusion you gave me and made me so glad, I dared you to let me your one and only but you couldn't, I wasn't enough, you didn't even let me prove that I'm that fucking one who can walk that mile, fuck I hate crying for you. Don't you remember is a song that makes me wonder a lot of questions, I wonder if you think of me, if you have erased me from your memory, if you don't remember that first kiss, if you don't remember those "I love you" you told me staring at my eyes, and of course if you don't remember the reason you love(d) me. At the end theres is someone like you, I haven't heard from you, I have seen you with another person, I have seen you kissing him, you have got to know that for me this bullshit isn't over, if I were Adele I would << say never mind I'll find someone BETTER than you, I wish nothing but the best for you, Don't forget me, I beg!